>Talk to Jake.
JAKE: Oh hello there jane i hope that i am not calling at a bad time!
JANE: No, not at all, really. Just hanging out in my office which I appear to be somewhat trapped in. Interacting with my various possessions. Having gun accidents and so on and so forth. You know how it is.
JAKE: I sure as shit know about how that is.
JAKE: Im in a bit of a predicament myself over here but what else is new.
JAKE: Well youll be wondering the reason for my call i suppose.
JANE: Let's see. Aha! You must be wanting to reignite our old bitter tale of unrequited passion. You're expressing an interest in hunkering down on this years-stale drama. You have your skimpy bathing suit on and are more than prepared to jump delightedly through a veritable summertime sprinkler of unnecessary Crocker tears!
JAKE: Haha normally you know on any other damn day id be more than pepped up to babysit you while you pine about how my endearingly scrubby grass of gay flexible monogamy is supposedly greener than your lush other side of phone application dating and wooing relative strangers and such.
JANE: A kindness which never goes unappreciated, mind you! :B
JAKE: Glad to hear it jane but anyway as to the reason i had to get you on the horn here. We are as you know throwing another one of those "Ho there friend and welcome once more to the world of the living" shindigs in honor of the half dozen or so lives you ripped from the void and as an honorary affiliate of the rainbow rumpus party planning committee my hubby needs to know if youre planning on ripping any more hapless roustabouts or dubious felons from aforementioned void before the party because we need a specific number of custom placemats for the partys theming and if theres someone who shows up and doesnt have a placemat then they are going to feel left out and we really want to nail this and keep the resurrected happy so that your bugfuck reckless divertment of souls bound for nirvana doesnt take on a melancholy patina and run counter to the whole tone of everything that were going for on earth c. With the kindness and gentleness and whatnot.
JANE: Gosh, Jake, I really do appreciate it, and I thank you for bearing somewhat with my recklessness. I agree with your premise that it is important that I not only grant the dead a new chance at life, but that I follow through on the promise that our rescued friends are being brought to a kind, healthy world worth living in. One in which they can and may fulfill their dreams!
JANE: Well, most of their dreams. The dreams that aren't evil and don't fucking suck.
JAKE: Couldnt agree more. Thanking my lucky friggin stars you decided to do this instead of starting the worlds first better kinder corporation or whatever hoopla you were preaching back in our earliest days as greenhorn gods.
JANE: Don't remind me. The kind of pie-eyed nonsense a sheltered 16-year-old girl believes!
JAKE: Heh yeah that was some truly preposterous shit.
JANE: Well, anyhow, yes, I will be bringing... maybe one other void-plucked unghosted guest to the "welcome to the world again" party. I'd love to say I'm bringing two, but...
JAKE: But thats a total crap shoot type situation, i understand. You just have to believe! And to try like hell to save every one you can to the last man provided that he isnt a hornsus(sp?) or a cronus or other some such neer do well.
JANE: No promises. It would by no means be my place to decide who is worthy of living a life! The choice is, as always, up to them.
JAKE: Blast it i know youre right. But may i be frank jane?
JANE: You can be whoever you want, honey.
JAKE: Ok i will temporarily be frank for the purposes of this conversation. Hello jane my name is frank. Boy howdy am i respectful of the seemingly very positive intentions of your quixotic mission but a guy cant help but wonder if there is some kind of secondary aim being bundled up nice and neat here alongside your virtuous primary ambitions.
JAKE: Like maybe you feel an outsized guilt or sense of indebtedness towards a certain individual that is driving you to recklessly seek to resurrect other unrelated individuals who may not be entirely chuffed at the idea of resurrection and are hellbent on leaving the mortal coil behind and moving onto the next world after ages of dream bubble hell.
JANE: No, you're right. Thank you for keeping me on track, Frank. May I speak to Jake again?
JAKE: Well i was already still jake but i was jake using a dandy rhetorical device that jakes therapist taught him about how to express his feelings when theyre a bit awkward to say.
JANE: I know, Jake.
JANE: I'm aware that this whole thing I'm doing must seem incredibly silly.
JANE: However, I ask you to consider what I have told you before. The life she led may have been different, but she was the same as our Calliope at heart.
JANE: The one who is our esteemed friend and peer now already had a bad enough go of it! Although I believe--or hope, rather--that she is making up for that now.
JANE: The one who neutralized the Green Sun, by contrast, met an unthinkable, horrendous fate.
JANE: Just an endless, miserable stint as a stage prop somewhere out there in paradox space. Born to fulfill one function, then fade away.
JANE: What a bum racket.
JANE: Is it so wrong for me to want to give her the chance to live a real life? Is it so silly for me to care about these old loose ends, Jake?
JAKE: Silly my ass. Cant think about it too much or ill start getting a little condensation in the old eye sockets. Hah.
JAKE: You know she might already be gone right. And that youll have to accept it if she says no to your proposal right.
JAKE: Are you good and ready to dump a bottle of ranch style mesquite bbq on that particular crow and eat it up if that happens jane.
JANE: Of course.
JANE: For her sake, it'd have been worth the trying. Also, while I'm doing it, I may as well scour the black hole for anyone who might want their free second chance at life! Even missing one willing soul is unacceptable!
JAKE: Those are some plucky and dare i say gutsy things youre saying there jane and they earn a darn skippy from me. So far youve made some porrims a spatula a kranki and a few other whatsisfaces happy. And if its meant to be, youll find her! I really believe this.
JAKE: Ok jane well it has been lovely talking to you. Dirk says hi btw.
DIRK: Hi Jane. Hope you're staying chill.
JANE: Never you doubt it! >:B
JAKE: We were thinking typheusday during the hour of golden breath, will we be expecting you there?
JANE: Tuesday at 3? You betcha.
JAKE: Yippee! Alright so i will leave you to the problems and their soothing. Err sootheing. Try not to get too inebriated on the charms of your imagination forts and magic picture windows and whatnot.
JANE: No guarantees. Later buddy.
JAKE: Ohvwah. (Shit, i think i may have pronounced that wrong.)