>Have an honest conversation with your friends, family or therapist to help you come to terms with your fucked up personal problem.

No. Absolutely not. No one must know about your FUCKED UP PERSONAL PROBLEM. You won't even tell your (tentacle) therapist about this shit.

I mean, for Hemera's sake, what would Jake think? How could you let Roxy or Calliope or Dirk have to worry for your sanity like that? What would dearest John think? What would your DAD think?? What would the Nannasprites think of you fostering deeply problematic affections for the corporate humansona of the cruel woman who made their childhood a living hell??? What would the other girls in the straight girls only group text think?!?!?!?!?!?! You don't know what you'd DO if Jade, Aradia, Feferi, Nepeta, Meulin, and Ms. Paint all suddenly lost faith in you at once!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And you don't care to ever find out. No one will ever know how deep your obsession runs with getting schoolfed by Betty Crocker.

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